It's all about you and your

BOO!

It's all about...

Vulnerability, Intimacy, and Growth through Relationships

My approach…

You and your Boo have a massive opportunity for growth when you see yourselves as each others’ student and teacher, partner and friend. Learning through relationships, you can become a better versions of yourselves. But who teaches communication and conflict management skills? Most of what we know comes from what we witnessed our own parents doing, and we all deserve an update. 

As your couples coach I will share observations and point out the patterns I see that are helping and limiting your growth. I will guide you so circular points of miscommunication can advance to a new, more helpful, place. I will help you learn your partner’s love languages; uncover how you may be defending against deep intimacy; develop new abilities to validate, compromise, and cut out unnecessary stress. I promise I will not let you fight in your couples sessions (been there- not helpful). I will interrupt and redirect so you maximize your time with me, and get back to feeling like a great couple!

Couples Coaching

Please don’t wait for a crisis to strengthen your relationship with your Boo.

Second to you, your partner’s health and happiness ranks as a top priority. And you know why this is? Our intimate partnerships provide us the opportunity to form another attachment relationship (as we differentiate from our families of origin).

Healthy attachment relationships are hallmarks of holistic health; they promote confidence, feelings of security, growth mindsets, healing from family of origin stress, and so much more. Through these relationships we can truly become the best version of ourselves.

As a couple’s coach I can help you and your partner manage conflict fairly, build friendship, improve communication skills, and align on shared visions and values for life.

Alternatively, those couples who are seeking support to peacefully part ways and continue to co-parent in emotionally healthy ways can also benefit from my services. 

Check out couples coaching if you:

  • Think marriage counseling would be helpful, but you don’t want to be analyzed and therapized (yes I think that’s a made up word)
  • Want a deeper connection with your mate
  • Are seeking healthy dating guidance
  • Need tools to improve communication
  • Have a dilemma or big transition and need an objective sounding board and steps to move forward
  • Promised each other you’d be better parents, but are stuck in old habits
  • Find that extended family members are creating a rift between the two of you, or interfering with your family values
Thai Massage Workshops

Thai massage is a traditional bodywork practice from…you guessed it- Thailand!

It involves stretching, movement, and massage to energize the mind and body. (Think yoga that someone else is doing for you). Each partner stays clothed and works on the floor, taking turns to give and receive the moves.

Workshops are 2 hours and can be scheduled virtually, privately, or within a small group setting. 

Check out the Thai massage workshop if you:

  • Want your partner to give you a massage, but they need to learn some skills
  • Are looking for a fun way to connect
  • Value communication and intimacy
  • Can comfortably transfer on and off the floor and sustain light physical activity for 45 mins
  • Have no acute pain or injury

What to Expect with Couples Coaching

  • I might interrupt and redirect to steer the conversation in a more helpful direction
  • I will not allow fighting in session and will work hard to make sure each session ends with feelings of deeper understading and connection (even if it means we go over time)
  • Coaching is a partnership; as your coach my job it to help you find answers to your questions, not prescribe a treatment. I do this by asking “great” questions (as my clients say) and reflecting your complex thoughts back in a clarifying way. 
  • I use psychoeducation to help you understand processes of development and change. 
  • I might ask you to check into your body and describe physical sensations, use your breath to regulate stress, have you move around in space, or other somatic techniques to integrate your mind-body experiences

Policies of Mutual Respect

  • Let’s have a chat before you shop or schedule so we know if we are a good for for each other.
  • I don’t take insurance; I do take HSA and FSA; cash, check and cards; Venmo (name is @jess-ahlum); I can also send you a Paypal invoice or receipt. Check out all services and pricing in the Shop tab.
  • Our work together will be held in confidence; however, if subpoenaed by the courts, I am lawfully obligated to comply with all requests. (Unlike a lawyer or doctor with client privilege).
  • Please come committed to your session. I’m happy to be flexible with rescheduling; however, I do charge a $25 no show fee (it’s only fair). 

*   Disclaimer

A coaching relationship is not mental health, substance abuse, or medical treatment. I am not a licensed mental health provider. I work as a coach and educator with a license to provided hands on (manual therapy) and the highest level of national certification for health and wellness coaching.  In the event that you feel the need for a licensed professional counselor, it is your responsibility to seek this out. There may also be a time when I need to refer you to work in conjunction with another provider, if our work together takes me outside my scope of practice. 

Testimonials

The No-Stress-Jess Method

A playful spirit on the coast of North Carolina, nurturing world peace one relationship at a time. I’m here to listen, help, and coach you through all of life’s adventures. From You to your Boo, and your Crew.